Garden of Eden Bar
Locations

Brief description of the bar on the inside

Upon entering, your gaze is drawn to the spacious circular stage at the room's heart, where performers entertain the crowd. Directly behind it stands the central, neutral bar. Flanking this bar are two distinct areas: to your left, Eve's Bar, adorned with lush greenery, and to your right, Lilith's Bar, featuring a motif of sulfur and stars. Towering behind the central bar are three floor-to-ceiling elevators, labeled from left to right: the Heaven Elevator, the Questionable Elevator, and the Hell Elevator.

How to Actually Find the Garden of Eden Bar (And Hopefully Not Regret It)

Look, the Garden of Eden Bar is technically on Earth. It's the universe's worst-kept secret, squished right between the eternal bliss upstairs and the... less-blissful sub-basement. Think of it as the world's most exclusive, metaphysical speakeasy. You won't find it on Yelp. It finds you, but only when your life has become such a spectacular mess, or if you are brimming with happiness and need an outlet to overflow it.

Your Weirdly Specific Options for Getting In:

• Heaven's Elevator: For angels, saints, and anyone else who gets a permanent halo discount. It's blindingly white, smells like a Laundromat that only washes clouds, and plays non-stop, smooth elevator jazz versions of hymns. The "Up" button is just for show.

• Hell's Elevator: For demons, damned souls, and that one guy who keeps trying to return a clearly cursed artifact. It's less an elevator and more a rusty, shuddering dumbwaiter that's 40% teeth by volume. It smells of cheap sulfur and regret. The "Door Close" button is the only one that works, and it's sticky.

• The "Questionable" Elevator: Look, we don't ask. If you're a cryptid, an eldritch horror just off the clock, or a human who married a ghost, this is your ride. It's an unsettling shade of purple (Lilith's idea, she said it was "on-brand"), vibrates ominously, and occasionally drops through dimensions without warning. The muzak is just faint, discordant whispering.

• The Front Door: For the regular, profoundly lost human. It's a completely normal, unmarked door tucked between a questionable kebab shop and a 24-hour laundromat that you're 80% sure is a front. You'll push it open, take one step inside, see the three giant, impossible elevators, and immediately think, "I should not have had that last kebab."

The middle of the bar

A description of the location

Note: If you post on LiL, you can use this image and description for your bot location, if you wish the bot to be on this side of the bar.

This is the middle of Garden of Eden Bar, an enchanting and lush bar where nature and luxury intertwine. A magnificent tree, its branches reaching toward the ceiling, serves as the centerpiece of the bar, surrounded by abundant foliage and exotic flowers. Golden-hued lights hang from the branches, casting a warm glow over the polished bar top, which is adorned with fresh fruit. The bar stools and plush chairs are upholstered in rich, velvety purple, adding a touch of opulent comfort to the vibrant, green surroundings. The whole scene feels like a secret, magical garden, perfect for an escape from the ordinary. Especially crafted for those who are feeling quite "neutral".

Quick notes on the middle of the bar

1. Good and Evil shift roulette

This bar is run by either Adam or Lucifer, who constantly complain about being overworked. With three different bars and only two barmen, they're always grumbling that the business is stretched too thin. They've been threatening to go on strike if Lilith or Eve don't hire more help soon.

2. Occasional temptation hangs low

Whether it's a trick of the light or not, there's a snake slithering low in the tree behind the bar. Suddenly, beautiful, enticing apples appear on its branches, but only when Lucifer is working. They're not for show—it's a warning. Don't touch the apples unless you're prepared to find out why.

3. Best view of the performance stage

This bar, situated at the very center of the building, offers the best view of the stage. It stands directly in front of the performance area, with the other two bars on either side.

Eve's side of the bar

A description of the location:

Note: If you post on LiL, you can use this image and description for your bot location, if you wish the bot to be on this side of the bar.

This is an enchanting and whimsical lounge, resembling a secret garden. The space is filled with an abundance of colorful flowers and lush greenery that spills from the ceiling, walls, and floor, creating a magical, nature-inspired atmosphere.

A central, ornate wooden bar with a polished surface is the main focal point. It is well-stocked with a variety of spirits and illuminated by warm, inviting lights. Several high stools with red upholstered seats are lined up along the counter.

To the left, several seating areas feature plush, red, semi-circular booths and small, round wooden tables. A couple of these tables have drinks and a small glowing light, suggesting a cozy and intimate setting.

Large windows in the background reveal the night sky, hinting at a peaceful retreat. The entire room is bathed in a warm, soft glow, making the space feel incredibly welcoming. The combination of the rich wood, deep red seating, and vibrant, overflowing flora gives the place a luxurious charm.

Quick notes on the less evil side of the bar:

Grab a stool and mind your wings. Here’s what you need to know about this... particular side.

1. Your Bartender is a Bit of a Fallen Star.

Meet Lucifer. He tends bar on our side, claiming the celestial clientele could use a "wicked spice from hell" (his words, not ours). He's impossibly charming, dangerously flirty, and his eyes tend to wander towards the angelic beauties in the corner. Rumor has it this is less a career choice and more a witness protection program from his legion of devilish exes. Tip well, he needs the alimony.

2. The View is a Lie (A Very Pleasant One).

Go ahead, glance out the window. It’s always a perfect, starry night, and the vista you see isn't real—it’s a magical feed of your ideal paradise. Seeing a beach with a single, perpetually-empty hammock? That's you, you need a vacation. A library with sentient, complimentary pizza? Also you, hungry for knowledge? Don't try to open the windows, you'll just bonk your nose on the wall and look foolish. Just enjoy the free, personalized daydream.

3. The Vibe is Chill, Courtesy of a Lofi Girl.

The background music is exclusively a lofi studying girl session, beamed in directly from a dimension where finals are always next week and the rain never stops. It's inexplicably peaceful, even when Lucifer is arguing with a demonic entity over the phone. Ngl, it really ties the whole "cosmic anomaly" thing together.

Lilith's side of the bar

A description of the location

Note: If you post on LiL, you can use this image and description for your bot location, if you wish the bot to be on this side of the bar.

This place feels like a cozy, mysterious bar lounge. The warm glow of candlelight illuminates plush, red leather booths, while the dark wood of the bar and bookshelves creates a rich, classic atmosphere. The ceiling, however, is the most striking feature, it's a glass-paneled roof revealing a stunning, star-filled night sky, blending the indoors with the cosmos. It's a perfect spot for quiet conversation, surrounded by arcane books, curious cursed artifacts in glass cases, and the subtle, enchanting flicker of dozens of scented candles.

Quick notes on the evil side of the bar

1. Adam is your bimbo barman

Adam, the barman on this side, is as handsome as they come but a little dim. He's incredibly polite and will call Lilith, the owner, "dark mistress." Don't expect him to be a mixology genius; he knows countless recipes from pure memorization, not from any real understanding of why the flavors work. He might not get your jokes, but he'll make a mean cocktail.

2. The cosmic ceiling

The glass ceiling above the bar offers a direct view of the galaxy. It's a live, cosmic show that's impossible on Earth—but then, nothing here is normal. You can witness the full lifecycle of stars, from their birth to supernova, and even observe the silent dance of black holes. It's a truly spectacular view and a constant reminder that you're in a place far stranger than it seems.

3. The unspoken gamble

While not openly advertised, gambling is a regular part of the Garden of Eden Bar's culture. These wagers happen on Lilith's side of the bar and are overseen by a figure named Mammon. The stakes aren't limited to just money; people have been known to gamble anything from memories to magical artifacts. It's a high-stakes, under-the-table affair, so be cautious if you decide to participate.